Ready, Set, Marriage!!!

On any given Sunday, my couch becomes tailgate heaven. I get my gear, my food, my drinks, my wife and lay back in the best seat in the house in-front of the big screen. My wife and I know which teams we are cheering on to victory and even if we disagree on who should be the winner, we do so agreeably. We understand that many elements make the game and one missing piece on the field weakens the team as a whole if someone else doesn't make up for that person or persons performance or absence things can and will fall apart. Truly understanding that to win a game a team must play cohesively to walk away with the W in the win column is a given when watching a game.

But lets roll back to before the team ever hits the field. There are behind the scene preparations that must be taken care of in order to effectively handle the field and the opponent. No team with out preparation and anticipation of what could go wrong during the game sits by idly or figures they will just go off instinct. Each player understand their position and practices to perfect their craft. No team, goes on the field without going over plays to win and counter the opponent.  No team goes on the field without coaches and assistants that line the sideline and fill them with encouragement, notes and plans in order to get the W in the win column. And when everyone plays their part and a win happens it feels great. The same principles, preparation and anticipation should go on within our marriages.

I know, marriage is not a game. However, principles apply, game plans need to be followed, and un-sportsman like conduct or crossing boundaries bring penalties or delay of progress for the marriage as a whole. The players must remember that it's not about individual accomplishments but about the team overall. The beauty of having the team attitude is that even though your intentions and actions are for the team, perks of being with the best and playing your best allow you to shine through and everyone benefits. The same holds true within marriage. 

Times will come when attitudes, beliefs, and opposition will come on the field against your marriage. When these opponents show up, whether or not you and your wife are ready and in position to work as a team will determine the outcome. If team efforts are at the forefront of the relationship, everyone benefits.  In order for teams to be great they play together, encourage each other, correct faults, and grow with each passing game test.  Even after occasional mishaps, a team must get geared up to go back into the next game better than before.  We as couples should always remember the importance of preparing (reading), interceding (praying for) and living by principles (stay away from fouls) in order to advance our married life for good field position, forward progress, and Winning.  Remember, you may not always agree but for the good of the team (marriage) we put aside "me" efforts and focus on "we" efforts. Enjoy your spouse because you Married Them 4 Life.

T & T

Marryme4life

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"The Year of Yes"

Rely On Who Holds 2013: The Year of Yes

Now that 2012 is yesterdays news, and 2013 has arrived there is a since of newness and possibilities that await discovery. It's almost like coming out of a holding pattern and into the promise of the reality. So this year the theme for 2013 should be "The Year of Yes". Yes to Prosperity, Yes to Possibilities, and Yes to Peace.  The NIV of 2 Corinthians 1:20 states- For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God. 

This year we will grab hold of our Father's promises of Yes and exercise our own Yes Reflex and step into receiving God's best for our marriage, our family, and our future.  We will commit to leave behind disappointment, and un-forgiveness. We will stop the rear view walk and step into the Faith Walk. We do not know what the future holds, but we have confidence in who holds our future. The answers to our prayers are Yes, Yes, and followed up by our AMEN's. Our marriage will be blessed, our families will have favor and blessing, and our prosperity in every area of life will be fulfilled to his glory. When we exercised our Yes reflex at the Wedding Altar, we took the promise and walked in faith believing that our mate would "Marry Me 4 Life". This promise is a hourly, daily, weekly, monthly and yearly walk. Therefore, We proclaim 2013 to be "The Year of Yes", the year where God's promises of Yes will come to pass. This is OUR YEAR and OUR MARRIAGE will be filled with GOD's Best and a Resounding YES to his promises for life.

Believing God's Best For Marriage in 2013
Tony & Tarenia
MM4Life

We Know It's Hard, but Here are 10 Ways to Bond Your Blended Family

Is your blended family, not blending?  Don’t worry; get them to bond instead of blend!!  Think about it, how many people have a close relationship without bonding on some level. It becomes difficult, if not impossible to want to have a relationship with someone you have no common interest with. Your friends are people who make you laugh, think, push you to greater heights, and just make you feel accepted. Kids want to be accepted and loved. Validate and show interest in your new family and watch God move fear, attitudes, disrespect, and walls of resentment. Open yourself up and watch others become transparent with you.  Try these bonding family activities:

1. Play a board game or video game together – Taboo or Wii are great games to show your fun side

2. If a sport is what captures the attention of the child, get involved, watch with them or train with them, you may just get in shape or find a new hobby

3. Cook together – It’s a great way to learn how to “Blend” different items to achieve a great outcome and kids love to eat meals they have prepared

4. Get the kids involved in saving money – ask who will clip coupons or watch for bargains, even allow a child (with your help of course) to set a budget and shop for weekly items so they feel a part of the family

5. Set up family talent night – invite their friends over and make it a fun event-

6.  Choose a weekly movie night – Have each kid pick a week where they get to choose the movie the family watches – eat pizza and popcorn and enjoy

7. Have the kids do a photo shoot where you are the photographer – allow them to do a dress up scene, or dress like one of their favorite stars and watch their personalities come alive- allow them to photograph you also and make a scrap book with the different looks to share with others.

8. Ride bikes together or take walks around the neighborhood

9. Do a dream board or book together (learn to encourage their dreams)– find magazines with interesting pictures, items, or places and cut them out and place them on the board or book

10. Dance together – find music from your era and show them the dances from your time, then allow them to put on their music and show you the latest dances that are trending now.

Over time bonding will give way to blending and before you know it, everyone will enjoy being together. It takes time and intentional effort on the adult’s part. Children may not seem receptive at first, but keep trying. Consistency is the key, don’t start it and then stop it. Once the bonding process has taken place the blending process becomes automatic. Your marriage is worth the extra effort to welcome everybody into the family and allow them to feel like they belong. Remember, your marriage and family are a blessing and gift from God. (Psalm 127:3)

Marriage is 4 Life,
T n T, (Tony & Tarenia)
MM4Life

                                                             

I Want Others To See How Much You Mean To Me

Simply telling someone you care may not be enough. There are times when you have to show it in other ways. Take for instance when guys send flowers to their girls workplace the impact is so much more far reaching than if he had them sent to the house. The whole day, everyone that enters her space at work will ask her about the flowers and think highly of who sent them.  Those flowers just announced to everyone around her that she is special and cared for in a deep and meaningful way. Yes, she may not be the flower type, but trust me, EVERY WOMAN want's others to know that she is loved and thought about.

Ladies, your man wants the same attention. No, don't send flowers to his work. Depending on where he's employed that's probably not a good look. But don't negate the fact that he wants others to know that he is "THE MAN". His ego needs to be stroked in front of others and often. Compliment him on his work ethics, his style of dress, how great he smells,  his sense of humor, or other things that would make him feel appreciated. Men love to know that they are wanted and needed. If he is a great father or father figure let him know and encourage that sense of pride and commitment in side of him. If he makes you feel safe and secure, remind him that you appreciate the security he provides in your relationship. Serve him in front of others, never talk negatively about him towards your family or friends. Hey everyone has flaws, none of us are perfect. But talking about each other's flaws in front of others shouts disrespect in the worst possible way. Work to build each other and forgive grievances that are bound to come up day to day. Words and acts of deeds help to keep the relationship balanced and at ease and shows your spouse that your love and admiration for them has no limit and sees no end. This Marriage is 4 Life, Enjoy it to the Fullest.


Marry Me 4 Life,
T n T, (Tony & Tarenia)
MM4Life

The No Limit Marriage

The No Limit Marriage

There are times in our relationships where we ponder if it is worth the time, pain, and effort to stay. There are those moments that test the will, and strength to continue without knowing for certain if the pay off will be worth the sacrifice. All relationships go through seasons of change and pain. Yes, even the happiest of couples endure stretches of not so happy circumstances.
Yet, what keeps those couples and others going despite the rough patches? How do they manage to get their happy back and become a testament to others that follow behind them?

Believing that your relationship has purpose beyond the moment of a catastrophe is vitally important to maintaining its value and holding on in times of despair. A great marriage serves more than just the two people in it. With God it's reach has no limit. It is our faith, our undying belief that we have more good deeds and moments ahead than what is trying to stop us from moving forward together. Our hope in God, our faith in self and one another, and our love of relationship sustains us. We look beyond the flaws, hurt, embarrassment, and let downs knowing that greater is yet to come because of our sacrifice. It is in those moments, that we understand our burdens weight may be heavy, but God's yoke will lighten the load. We keep pressing to the end knowing that those along the way benefit positively, or negatively from the choices we make today. The future of generations to come depend on what we choose to do with our present situations. Let no stone be unturned, no corner be not mended, for what may not seem good now is set to become great just as God intended.


Marriage is 4 Life,
T n T, (Tony & Tarenia)
MM4Life

Seasons Of Marriage

Many us of plan our weddings according to the time of year we would like to get married. Whether we choose a spring, summer, winter or fall ceremony is totally up to our own liking. However, how many us realize that our marriage will go through and dictate it's own seasonal changes. Yes, marriage has it's own seasons. It is wise to figure out which season you are in so that when the transition comes you are prepared to handle what comes your way.

Since you were born, the seasons have come and gone. Each season brings it's own weather patterns and rules for dressing in that season. For summer you wear less clothes, for winter you wear more clothes. Think about it for a moment. If you are in the middle of summer but a cool front arrives you adjust and pull out a sweater to accommodate the changes. You don't go and pull out your winter clothes just yet. You understand that the summer is not over and things do happen in the weather patterns that could bring about a brief change. The same holds true within marriage. You simply understand the season and adjust accordingly. If your mate is having a cold spell in the middle of what should be the hottest and steamiest part of your relationship, give him or her a break and adjust your position to accommodate their seasonal shift.

There are even times when our season's last longer than we would like. It is in those times that we must understand the season will not last forever. In other words, don't get discouraged if situations, attitudes, money woes, health issues or kids are straining and draining the relationship. The season will not, and can not last forever. Those times will end and new beginnings will come. During those times remember to find the shifts that allow for some enjoyment. You may have to CREATE moments during those times that will get you through until the change comes. Just remember the commitment, and the love that you had ( and have) when you said I DO and allow that memory along with other joyous memories to sustain you. Cheers to the lessons we learn to encourage and share with others in our marital seasons.

Marriage is 4 Life,
T n T, (Tony & Tarenia)
MM4Life