Seasons Of Marriage

Many us of plan our weddings according to the time of year we would like to get married. Whether we choose a spring, summer, winter or fall ceremony is totally up to our own liking. However, how many us realize that our marriage will go through and dictate it's own seasonal changes. Yes, marriage has it's own seasons. It is wise to figure out which season you are in so that when the transition comes you are prepared to handle what comes your way.

Since you were born, the seasons have come and gone. Each season brings it's own weather patterns and rules for dressing in that season. For summer you wear less clothes, for winter you wear more clothes. Think about it for a moment. If you are in the middle of summer but a cool front arrives you adjust and pull out a sweater to accommodate the changes. You don't go and pull out your winter clothes just yet. You understand that the summer is not over and things do happen in the weather patterns that could bring about a brief change. The same holds true within marriage. You simply understand the season and adjust accordingly. If your mate is having a cold spell in the middle of what should be the hottest and steamiest part of your relationship, give him or her a break and adjust your position to accommodate their seasonal shift.

There are even times when our season's last longer than we would like. It is in those times that we must understand the season will not last forever. In other words, don't get discouraged if situations, attitudes, money woes, health issues or kids are straining and draining the relationship. The season will not, and can not last forever. Those times will end and new beginnings will come. During those times remember to find the shifts that allow for some enjoyment. You may have to CREATE moments during those times that will get you through until the change comes. Just remember the commitment, and the love that you had ( and have) when you said I DO and allow that memory along with other joyous memories to sustain you. Cheers to the lessons we learn to encourage and share with others in our marital seasons.

Marriage is 4 Life,
T n T, (Tony & Tarenia)
MM4Life

Today's post was a reminder for not only our readers but for self as well. Often times life happens and we get caught up in the children, bills, work, and social demands that take us away from our joy of being a loyal spouse. We can at times, not intentionally I might add, take our spouse for granted. One wise individual once said that "Comfortability is the Biggest Snitch You Will Ever Meet". There should be comfort in a marriage but we should not make a rug out of it and walk all over it with muddy high heel stiletto boots. More often than not we should slow down and consider that our mate married a person who was there for them and made them feel special in every way. A man who has a wife wants to continue to remember her as the bride of his youth.  The one that stood at the altar with him and held his hand and happily took his last name as they walked down the aisle and saluted every one as Mr. & Mrs.

Yes, things may have become more complicated since the day you were married. But do not let the complications of life take you away from being the fun, ride or die, listener, dreamer, motivator, and biggest cheerleader your husband ever met. You have matured and yes we all see things a little differently as we go through the marriage seasons, however, you can think like a wife, but act like a blushing bride and let him know that you are on his side no matter what. Incorporate some new rituals. Start off with minor changes like kissing him before leaving for work. Running to the door or garage when he gets home with a hug and a smile. Bring him home a small cooler with his favorite beverage on ice inside on a Friday or Saturday night. Saying I stand by you and believe in you can be done many ways. Seize the opportunity in each day to let him know that you have his side, back and front. Pray for him out loud and let him know that even though your schedule may be full, he is at the top of your priority list. Remember, a wife wants love, a husband wants respect, give it on both ends and nothing will go unchecked.

Blessings,
T-n-T
Marriage...This IS 4 Life

I Give Up Because This Marriage Sucks!!! STOP!!

So you and your spouse seem to be going nowhere in your marriage. As a matter of fact you both avoid each other just to co-exist in the same place. Each time either of you murmur a word; it turns into an argument and things spiral out of control. You, or both of you decide that divorce must be the only solution. It's obvious that you cannot get along, and are 2 totally different people going in different directions. So you decide, "I give up because this Marriage sucks!!!" STOP!!! There is another solution.

Yes, there is another solution. It involves your thinking and the ingredients you use in your marriage relationship. For a moment think about a great piece of cake you had, possibly your wedding cake, or a birthday cake. Think about the ingredients for that cake. In order to get the best possible outcome, top-notch ingredients had to be used. But the ingredients were not the only part, it was the process and the skill involved to make the cake a success. 

It took a lot of moving parts to get that cake baked and ready to be eaten. Without the eggs, flour, sugar, milk, mixing bowl, cake pan, stove and other things, that cake would not have turned out so great. What started out as a messy mixture of stuff, turned into a decadent dessert that everyone could share and enjoy. 

Marriage is a lot like baking a cake. The process involves understanding how to use and mix those ingredients and tools for a successful outcome. No one wants a lumpy half-baked cake.  As is such when it comes to our marriage, no couple wants a bumpy, unfulfilled relationship with the person who they have committed to spend the rest of their lives with.

So here’s a solution, dump the old ingredients of doubt and disappointment and replace it with what God has given you in his word for your marriage. Phillipians 4:8, Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—IF ANYTHING is excellent or praiseworthy--THINK about such things. 

Get your thinking in the right place and your marriage will follow. Your response to this and other situations is your responsibility. You may be saying, I have tried this already, however, the word of God speaks about your trying as it relates to this area in Galatians 6:9, Do not grow weary in your well doing (thinking-meditating) and faint (fall back into old habits or doubt that things will change) for in due times and at the appointed season you shall reap a plentiful harvest. No matter what our spouse is or is not doing, we must be committed to work, work, and work some more with prayer and encouragement to keep our marriage on the correct course. 

Remember the cake each time you want to scream, ignore, run out on, or bite the head off your mate. When you change, everything around you changes to match the environment. The process and overall success for the best dessert (your marriage) is yet to come. Meditate on what is good and eat the fruits there of.

Tony & Tarenia

mm4life.com

Marital Advisors

Should We Remain Married if there is NO TRUST??

Burning Question of the Day:

Since trust is our biggest issue can we stay married?

Almost every relationship deals with the issue of trust on some level. It can stem from areas of money all the way to infidelity. It is not uncommon to question how much we can trust someone. Yet is really hurts when our expectations are let down. Should we be able to have a sense of “Oh I know my husband/wife won’t do that”, of course we should. But it’s realistic to say that even in the best of marriages trust can and is often broken. Before we go further lets take a look at what Biblical Scripture says.

Micah 7:(5-6) Put no trust in a neighbor; have no confidence in a friend; guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your arms; for the son treats the father with contempt, the daughter rises up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; a man's enemies are the men of his own house.

WOW!!! The word of God is straightforward and says to trust no one not even those in your own home.

Now take a look at the following Scripture:

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

We are instructed to put our trust solely in the Lord and not in man or even in our own abilities to reason or act according to what is right in our own sight.  So, clearly we are not to solely trust anyone other than the Lord. We must trust God to handle our spouse and convict them to make right those areas that clearly they missing the mark on. Trusting God gives God room to impart in us his compassion, his forgiveness, his way of understanding burdens and faults that we all have. We all fall short in the trust arena. Lets look at some of those who have broken trust: our children, our pastors & spiritual leaders, teachers, U.S. Presidents, and even our parents have broken trust.

Marriages are built on Covenant Commitment to remain together as one until Death do you part. Set boundaries, walk in love, forgive offenses and get help for those offenses that cause a rift against the marriage Covenant like infidelity. The best you can do is to be honest and say, “No I don’t trust them, but I do trust God to work in them.” It will give you peace of mind and take the stress off your relationship to allow you both to experience the love of God here on earth.

Grace & Mercy,

MM4Life